Funny Facebook Status Ideas

• feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
• is color blind and trying to solve a Rubik's cube... This could take a while...
• dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
• is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• whoever says paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
• would rather check her Facebook than face her checkbook.
• . Is wondering why the hell Noah didn't leave the cockroaches and rats off his ark...
• just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! Till socks last.
• ... is Loading ████████████ 99%
• My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.
• Statistically, 150% of all people exaggerate.
• Statistically 8/6 of people have trouble with fractions.
• I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
• Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
• Learnt the hard way that you do not joke with customs officials... or anyone who has the right to put his fist up your backside.